Tonight, as I sat beside Barbara next to Roger’s bed we both watched as he quietly breathed. One breath at the time. Slowly. In, then out. It seemed that his body was focusing every ounce of its energy on that simple, yet, so difficult task. We take it for granted. Every second of every day. God’s gracious gift of life–one breath at a time, day after day, until almost all of our appointed days have been used. Then those breaths don’t come so easily. What we once didn’t even notice, then we struggle with all our might, just to take one more. I do not pretend to know how many more breaths Roger has left, but I do know that whatever the number, they are slipping away–F A S T!

Tonight he is noticeably weaker than he was earlier this afternoon. Once he opened his eyes and said something that neither of us understood. We both stood to our feet and leaned close to his face trying to hear. If he wanted something, we wanted him to have it. His whisper was so quiet that it barely qualified as one. His friends, Mark & Cheryl, brought him some popsicles. Three flavors! Cherry, grape, and strawberry. He wanted one. We could tell by the expression on his face. It could only be a brief lick, as he cannot swallow. He coughed. I would have frowned. He smiled, as soon as his throat calmed.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. If I had my way, it would be Roger’s Homegoing Day, but who am I to have my way. This is what the Scriptures tell us about that: For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained form me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God. How vast is the sum of them (Psalm 139:13-16).

~Amen